maybe

or maybe not

Maybe if I didn’t care so much, it wouldn’t hurt like this.

Maybe if I gave less, expected less, I wouldn’t feel this disappointment sitting so heavy in me.

I show up fully.
I give what I have, and I give it freely.

I don’t know how to do it halfway.
This is just how I love.

I move toward people. I show up. I do.

But I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t get to me,
if I said I don’t get tired of feeling like I’m pouring into spaces that don’t pour back.

Father… I don’t want to grow cold because of this.
I don’t want to become distant just to feel safe,
but I also don’t want this quiet frustration sitting in my heart.

Teach me how to love without losing myself in it.
Teach me how to love without a demand.

And still… let me love like You do.

Patient. Kind. Not self-seeking.