adun

my lover and my friend

It’s Friday, June 12th.

12:12 a.m.

I am listening to the song that has been ringing since yesterday. Jesu Jesu by Minister Dunsin Oyekan featuring Grace Lubega.

I could not move past the opening lyrics:

Abiyamo yin gbekun omo re ko ma ta eti were

(A mother is not inattentive to the cry of her child)

This was before my best friend FaceTimed me. Before I spent several minutes arguing with Alexa because she refused to play the right song. And when it finally came on, I listened. I sang along.

Now, hours later, I am still hearing the words:

Jesu. Jesu.

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12:16am

My Jesus,

I have always said that I want to love You more than I love my own life.

And I mean it.

You are the One who gave me life, and You are the One who makes it worth living.

The best thing that could have ever happened to me already happened before I was born. You died for me. Nothing will ever surpass that.

---

I have been thinking about how I am always Your child.

The Lord’s girl.

Not sometimes. Even on the days my faith feels small.

In the odd hours when sleep refuses to come, You are awake with me. On the nights my mind spirals and scares itself, You are listening to me. When tears roll down my cheeks and disappear into my pillow, I know I am not crying alone.

You have never been careless with my heart. You have never stopped taking care of me.

---

My Jesus,

I want to walk with You. I really do. I do not ever want to stop walking with You.

There are things I can lose and recover from. Things I can surrender and survive. But I never want to lose the nearness I have found in You. Knowing You is the most precious thing I have.

Minister Dunsin sings, “Those who call Your name will never be ashamed.”

I have never heard truer words.

Jesus, I hide in You.

I find rest in You.

There were days that turned into weeks when worry seemed to pause life for me. Days when I was afraid that wanting ordinary human things somehow made me less pleasing to You. Yet through all of it, I kept finding You waiting for me.

You never grow tired of me. You sit with me. You open the Scriptures to me.

You give breath to my lungs and remind them what to do when I forget.

My Jesus, You are patient with me.

---

Six months into 2026, and not once have You stopped being who You are.

Not once.

Faithful are You who keeps every word.

Faithful are You who keeps every promise.

203 days in, and everything I want to say to You right now feels longer than the hours it would take me to write it all down.

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There are so many things I do not know. So many things I may never know.

But I pray a day never comes when I am confused about You.

Jesus, it is You and me. Me and You for eternity.

And confidently I say, that the Lord is my identity.

Jesu. Jesu.

My Lover.

12:59am